Sigh. Life moves through and around me. When I received my review I was lifted up from my mundane experiences. That was a few days ago. Now, so much has and hasn't happened--social-life inertia, crazy world events, at my college more unpaid work time is being required (and the word "illegal" roars through my brain)--can anyone keep a steady pace of "happy," especially when it comes from an external reward? My guess is no. Unless that is, those rewards keep coming, one building to another and another--but even then, eventually there will be a lull. Then what?
A New York Times article by Kate Murphy, "No Time to Think," says Americans are hyper busy. When they're not, they're absorbed by their gadgets. No one is thinking, and it seems that's how they want it. Thinking brings the dreaded, feelings. I gaze outside my windows into a courtyard and thinking time stretches before me. I have few gadgets. The TV and radio are off. A mess of feelings make themselves known--but I am a super-feeling kind of person. They don't scare me.
Below is the best of last week's painting class. The class was frustrating (once again), and after one hour of struggling to paint a nude model, I gave up. I played with colors, painted flowers, hearts, dogs. When the teacher walked by, I hid my work. I once again have deeper understanding of my students who drift away when they don't get the assignment.
Tomorrow night is my last class. No hearts, flowers, dogs, unless they're what we're supposed to do (doubtful).